♫ I could show you incredible things: magic, madness, heaven, sin.
Saw you there and I thought, ‘Oh my God, look at that face. You look like my next mistake!’ ♫
Everyone who has BPD or knows someone suffering from BPD understands that relationships will be like a rollercoaster ride.
I’ve mentioned this term before, BPD aka borderline personality disorder, now let’s define it. Most people hear the name and assume that it means you’re borderline insane/psychotic. No. That’s not what it is. Essentially it is emotional instability and is marked by characteristics such as impulsivity, unstable moods and relationships, as well as a distorted self image.
I think a lot of people look at us as being moody and immature. That we choose to overreact or we’re dramatic and we just want to exaggerate everything. To me, those are the close-minded people who choose to be ignorant to the fact that this is a very real mental illness that affects many people around the world.
If I could, I’d handle regular day to day situations sans paranoia. I’d skip all the arguments and escalated feelings. Sure, sometimes the highs are so amazing that I feel like I’m on the most euphoric cloud ever formed. However, when that love transforms into hate, be sure that the cloud I’m on will turn grey, and get ready for the downpour, because a storm would follow suit.
♫ Screaming, crying, perfect storms; I can make all the tables turn ♫
It’s amazing, how in a split second feelings go from one extreme to the next. All it takes is one trigger. What may trigger a BPD person may surprise you. It could be something extreme that can be perfectly justifiable to upset anyone, or it can be the littlest of things that really makes you wonder how many screws they have that are loose.
All these emotions experienced are very intense. You can feel the red, hot, passion, and unconditional love, wrapping itself around you; tantalising your senses with promises of all things that are good. Then the swirling black hole of hatred comes to suck the life force out of you. Yes, it’s tiring putting up with such a tumultuous regiment, which is why people with borderline personality disorder often lose many people that enter their lives. To those of you who stick around through the bad times and not just the good, thanks! *tips hat*
It takes a lot of energy to have a relationship with a person who has BPD and you may wonder why bother if you’re just getting yourself into a boatload of crazy? Why, if this love is just a toxic apple waiting to be bitten into? Well, that’s because no one can love you harder than a borderline person. I can’t make promises of unwavering love, but I can guarantee it’d be unconditional. The love would take you to a completely new world; it’d be an invigorating experience for you when you’re showered with the best our love can offer.
Staying clear of what triggers negative emotional responses might be difficult, but once you (both) understand those triggers, it’d be easier finding stability in a relationship. Although, however deeply a BPD person may love you, I personally don’t think any relationship is healthy if one’s partner is held high on a pedestal. Although idealisation may be better than devaluation, you should be equals (in my opinion).
I’ve been called “crazy” by males of my past. I’ve been told that I can be both the good, fun kind of crazy, and suddenly switch the psychomaniac kind. They’re both afraid and intrigued, but it takes a special kind of person to understand these emotions, yet not enable the chaos. To not appoint themselves as saviour but rather support. To not harbour anger and resentment. Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream, and it takes a special kind of person to not be afraid when they wake up 😉
♫ Cuz we’re young and we’re reckless, we’d take this way too far.
It’d leave you breathless, or with a nasty scar ♫
thatborderlinegirl 