New Year’s resolution

As I am counting down to 2015, I reflect on my past year. I sigh at my mistakes, hoping to learn from them. I smile at the wonderful moments shared with the people I love. Gasp at some risks I’ve taken, though laughing at some of the entertaining outcomes. All in all, 2014 has been a year of tremendous growth for me. I waved goodbye to my teenage years, though, clung to my childlike nature as I dreadfully entered my 20s. I cut ties with people who harboured negativity around me. It was difficult, for some of them were held close to my heart, but I am wise enough to know I shouldn’t continue allowing that poison in my life. I rode extreme emotional rollercoasters, hitting the highest of highs to only drop to the lowest of lows. However, despite all the ups and downs, I came off this ride feeling more alive than ever before!

Each year I make new year’s resolutions although I never keep them. For the upcoming year, I think I’ll take a rain check on the traditional resolutions. To some, they may serve as a reminder for goals to achieve within the new year, but to me, it’s just a fad.

The only goal I have for 2015 is the same goal I set for my life. I hope to continue making each moment count; savouring the good times and not wallowing in the bad. I hope to continue relinquishing the negativity that is around me and to surround myself with more positive vibes. I hope to continue trying new things and stepping out of my comfort zone… challenging myself! Most importantly, what I desire more than anything, is to continue showing myself as well as inspiring others to see that the fight against mental illness is not a losing one. We hold the key to our happiness; just to find the power within to unlock it 🙂

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.” – Neil Gaiman

Take care everybody, and all the best in 2015!

xoxo thatborderlinegirl

Blogging year in review: my POV

I assume we’ve all received an email from WordPress summarising our 2014 year as bloggers. However, if I were to summarise mine, I’d do it a little differently and my review would be more like this:

thatborderlinegirl.wordpress.com was born on October 25th.

Still a baby in the world of blogging as it has barely been over two months since I’ve started. Though, it has been a very interesting time for me.

I began this blog with the sole purpose of venting all my pent up frustrations so I can feel a sense of inner peace at those times when I’m at an emotional low.

Day one commenced with an introductory piece about myself taken from a sociological standpoint of the self. Post 1: Who am I?

With that, I was able to set the tone of my blog for myself. thatborderlinegirl has mostly been geared towards discussing my struggles with and views about mental illness, though ever so often I’ve shared some random, happier moments of my life with my readers 🙂

Top 5 Viewed Posts:

1. Darling I’m a Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream
Courtesy Taylor Swift’s popular song “Blank Space”, I was able to find some inspiration for a post as that one specific line triggered thoughts about my BPD. It may not have received any feedback despite it being my most viewed post (perhaps because of the title), but I was able to express myself nonetheless.

2. Diagnosis: Unwell
I was often listening to the Matchbox 20 song “Unwell” nearing the time I decided to commence blogging. It was set in my mind to be a mental health blog, so after my intro piece, on day 2, I made one of my most important posts and shared my diagnosis with all of you. Thanks to everyone who read, liked, and commented. I appreciate it.

3. Pills or Posion?
I’ve been a very stubborn patient where taking my meds are concerned. Often I am debating with the doctors about why I prefer to not take those pills they prescribed. So, I took to my blog to share those thoughts with the rest of the world.

4. Secrets Challenge – day 3
In November I launched a “secrets challenge” upon hearing the Mary Lambert song “Secrets“, as a way to overcome some of my petty insecurities. I’m not sure why day 3 was particularly popular, but can’t complain 🙂

5. It’s called Depression
I have trouble sleeping. I may doze off for an hour or 2 then wake and have difficulty falling asleep again. To kill the time, I may check my phone and respond to messages on various social networking apps. ‘Twas the wee hours of the morning on November 6th when I saw a text message upon waking from the least understanding colleague of mine. My blood was boiling and I needed to let it all out. It irks me how some people completely disregard those who suffer from depression. Thus, this post came about and I’m happy that one of my personal favourites made the top 5 most viewed.

My Top 5 favourite posts made:

1. Lingering Thoughts…
2. Words Can Hurt
3. It’s called Depression
4. Gradually, then suddenly…
5. Advice to a friend…

A shout out to the people who commented the most. I remember each of your comments and the way you all continued to make me smile and feel motivated/inspired to keep writing. Thanks for the support!

1. Truthseeker247
2. rythaephua
3. 19cooldan91
4. Athena Of Athens
5. anxiousaccessories

Special thanks to aopinionatedman @Harsh Reality for the opportunities you’ve presented myself and other bloggers with to share our material. For someone now starting out, I’m happy to have had the chance to publicise via your blog, as well as read the tips you post ever so often. (Also I love your blog! *fangirls* haha).

At the end of 2014, I have 2 complete months of blogging under my belt. It’s not much, but it’s a start. I end off the year with 1034 views (and counting), 76 followers, and a total of 49 posts. All in all, not bad for 2 months 🙂 Courtesy the “stats helper moneys” at WordPress, I know that my longest streak was 12 days. In the beginning, I hoped to write at least one post a day. Life however does not permit that all the time. I do promise to continue writing. It may not always be daily but I will be an active blogger 🙂

I also know that 34 countries in total have viewed my blog. It’s been exciting each day I see another country added to the map or that views from a country increase. I really never expected to have all these people worldwide reading my blog, but I am very grateful as well as ecstatic each time I look at that map. Hopefully it will continue to be filled out in 2015. The top 3 countries are the USA, Trinidad and Tobago, and Canada (with Spain and the UK close behind).

Thank you to everyone for making the beginning of my blog and end of my year a special one. Can’t wait to continue in 2015!

xoxo Nicky aka thatborderlinegirl ❤